You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
