there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
