So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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