he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
