I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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