brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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