Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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