your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
3pm strippers are depressing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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