so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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