Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
