sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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