"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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