remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
