Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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