Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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