I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
