YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
