i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish you could order shots online.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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