You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Randomize
