who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
