sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
