i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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