he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize