Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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