i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
