Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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