When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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