He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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