redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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