i don't like sucking hair
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
