I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
