I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
