you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
