Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
