i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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