If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
