The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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