Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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