Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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