i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
