I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Randomize
