I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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