It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize