Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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