Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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