i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
