Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
