About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
