absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
