He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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