but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
