My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
