Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
