You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You took a bar mat shot.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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