with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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