If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
