Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
