Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
