Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
